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Is there anything more unsettling and frustrating? Something suddenly shifts. Or he shuts down. Or he withdraws. You have no idea where he stands. Is he into you or not?

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Because relationship uncertainty makes human beings yearn for stability. Our automatic response is to chase when the "other" pulls away. What was once readily available is suddenly gone, and no matter how hard we try to regain our partner's former affection, it now seems beyond our reach. No, your partner's not confused. They don't need more time to figure out their emotions.

Jun 19,   It's long been the rule that when dating someone whose behavior is marked by hot and cold reactivity, you're standing on shaky ground. Behavioral extremes indicate a power play is being employed. Whether you call it push/pull, on/off, or hot and cold, the end result is the same. You're left feeling confused and frustrated. Most women act hot and cold with a guy is to see if he is a confident, alpha male, or if he's an emotionally weak man who lacks the balls to handle challenging people or situations. Women are instinctively attracted to the emotional strength in men (e.g. confidence, masculinity, drive and determination) and turned off by emotional weakness (e. Nov 04,   It depends on what kind of girl she is. A few of my friends are so reluctant to be seen as clingy or commitment hungry that they purposely play it cool when they meet a great guy.

They're not sorting out their last breakup, and they're not swamped at work. Although that may be your hope, it's not the case. It's a pattern. And it's crafted for control.

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The "hot" phase begins with a bang of overwhelming recognition. Your partner has placed you firmly on their radar.

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Bathed in newfound attention, flattery and flirtation spark a strong attraction for this person. You quickly find yourself craving more of this delicious new feeling. This phase lures you into the hopes of the possibility of romance. Contact is reciprocal, time is made to see each other, and forward movement is evident.

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There's an easy, open connection. The hot phase is designed to get you in the gate that leads to the corral, where you'll later be harnessed.

Then comes the "cold" phase. Your partner begins to pull away making you long for their previous attention.

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Whether initiated by a cold-shoulder, avoidance, or lack of communication This phase activates loss, making you yearn for them and wait with bated breath for their call or text. You wonder what happened and begin to question every move you made.

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Without realizing it, you've submitted to their need for emotional and psychological control. These are the basic dance steps to this type of behavior.

Homepage Dating Understanding a Girl's Hot and Cold Behavior (what it really means) x At TSB Magazine our mission to help "recovering nice guys" reclaim their masculinity, handle women's test, and become better at flirting, attracting women, getting more dates, and finding a girlfriend or wife. Guys who blow hot and cold are playing a game and they want to get their way all the time. That means trying to make you feel special when they want sex or attention- or dissing you when they're not interested. There's no stability, only selfishness. Sponsored: The best dating.

Each step is a phase, and each phase has a cycle. This formula is predictable and consistent even when your partner's reactions are not.

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Simply put, when you pull away, they'll re-engage you. When you advance, they'll pull away. After a cycle or two of this routine you'll be so confused you won't know which way to move. The pattern repeats itself for as long as you're willing to play this game. The beautiful truth is that this has nothing to do with you.

You playing hot and cold dating means

You're not at fault. There's nothing you did, or didn't do, that's causing this.

May 15,   Because the dating scene has become filled with men who look at dating and relationships as a game; a game of blowing hot and cold, to be precise. The blowing hot and cold psychology seems easy to detect when you are just a bystander. But when you are the one who is pulled into that emotional roller coaster, easy becomes difficult. Aug 12,   MORE: Why He's Running Hot and Cold. What Should You Do When a Guy is Running Hot and Cold? Your guy has been playing the hot and cold game. You're afraid of losing him and don't know what to do next. First things first, take an honest look at the relationship and try to figure out the reason for his behavior. And players don't want commitment. If they did, they wouldn't be "playing." Now the complicated part comes with option (2) where you really do like him but you know he's playing you, since he's doing the Hot and Cold thing. 2: "I like him but I don't want to get hurt!".

Don't let your friends analyze your situation and convince you otherwise. Just notice where you are in the cycle and don't let it disempower you. Understanding what comes next puts you back in control of your own reactions.

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There's a marked difference between a relationship hiccup and the game of hot and cold. Relationship hiccups occur because your partner is emotionally invested, but scared.

There's open communication about their fear. Once stated, the hot phase normally reboots and continues with forward movement. A hot and cold player reverts to cold as the norm, with bursts of hot that don't result in forward movement.

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The root cause of this behavior is a desperate attempt to gain control over the uncontrollable; love. It's a way to feel love without getting hurt. But the partner, who's committed to playing safe, will never allow himself or herself to experience love.

They'll toy at it, dipping their toes in and out of the water without ever getting wet.

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The cycles of hot and cold may make you feel like the powerless one. It appears as though as though your partner has all the strength.

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But it's just the opposite - real power is the ability to maintain intimacy. Power and strength of this caliber have no fear of being honest and direct. Games are an ego default when being "real" feels too scary. Is she talking about future plans?

Playing hot and cold dating

Is she engaged and focusing her attention on you? Or when she seems distracted or bored. It when you sense hesitation in her voice when you mention doing something together in the future.

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Cold behavior sucks. Its confusing. This means that her attraction towards you fluctuates by the day. Imagine there is a thermostat.

Congratulate, playing hot and cold dating can

And degrees is hot an 30 degrees is cold. Every time she pulls her phone out some guy is trying to get in her pants. This is an unconscious test on her part. The absolute worst thing you can do is start to act needy and keep asking her if everything is alright.

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Maybe you have to focus on creating a flirty vibe again or building some sexual tension.

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