Last ated: June 1, References Approved. This article was co-authored by Laura Bilotta. With over 18 years of date coaching experience, Laura specializes in dating etiquette, relationships, and human behavior. This article has 23 testimonials from our readers, earning it our reader-approved status. This article has been viewed 1, times. Getting over a crush on a best friend can take time. Preserving your friendship is important, but you'll need time on your own to deal with the overwhelming emotions and move on.
This will come off as callous and unsympathetic. Give them time to heal. Talk about your feelings in-person. If you're nervous, you might be tempted to reveal your feelings over text or online messaging. But having serious conversations happen much better in-person. Being able to see and hear the other person will leave less room for miscommunication. You'll see each other's body language and be able to respond immediately. This will give you an outlet and help you express your emotions in a healthy way.
Let them know how deeply you care about them. Sometimes when people reveal romantic feelings, the recipient may worry that you're only interested in dating them. If they don't reciprocate the feeling, they might wonder if you're still interested in a friendship. Make it clear that you appreciate your relationship with them regardless of their response.
How you tell your friend about your crush may determine their reaction. For example, if you tell them that you care about them, they react sympathetically. If you only make it seem like you want to date, they may react defensively. Accept their reaction, no matter what.
If they say they reciprocate your feelings, you might feel anxious and unsure what to do next. If they say they don't, you might feel crushed.
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Their emotions are as valid as yours, and it is important for you to respect them. Don't argue with them or react angrily if their response isn't what you hoped for. Thank them for being honest, and distance yourself if you need time alone.
However, even if you need less contact than before, don't ghost your friend and disappear completely. Try remembering how important the friendship was to you before you developed the crush.
Dating Coach Expert Interview. Hurt, grief, and pain are all part of grieving.
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Don't suppress your emotions or feel ashamed. It's all part of the healing process. Talk to a psychologist or therapist. Method 2 of Separate fantasy from what actually is. Your crush might linger if you daydream about what could be, but holding onto your fantasies will only lead to more pain. Accept the reality of the situation and your feelings of attraction equally. Gradually avoid thinking about what your relationship would be like if it could only work out. Instead, ground yourself in the present.
Set goals in your work or hobbies, spend time with loved ones, and work on self-improvement to love the life you have. Appreciate your friendship for what you have. Your friendship with this person can still be meaningful, even if you can't pursue a romantic relationship with them.
Think about all the good times you've had with this person and the positive qualities they have. Have gratitude that this person is in your life and that you've had the opportunity to know them.
Spend some time apart for a while. You might need some time away from this person to work through your feelings.
STORYTIME- I Dated My BEST FRIENDS Crush...
Tell your friend that you need space for a while. While you're spending time away from them, focus on other things, like trying a new hobby or meeting new people.
Rebuilding a friendship can take weeks or months. You may not feel "over" your crush until you find someone new. Take as much time as you need to process your emotions.
Let your friend know why you need space so that they don't feel hurt or confused. Let them know that it isn't their fault and that you still care about them.
Set boundaries. If you want to fall out of love with your crush, set boundaries for yourself and your friend to avoid sparking old flames. You might avoid extended physical contact with your friend, stop flirting with them, or steer away from intimate conversations for a while. Share the boundaries with your friend if you're comfortable so they know to avoid those situations. On the flip side, you may have to hold yourself back from hugging or holding them.
Let them know why you are doing this so they don't feel hurt or abandoned.
Method 3 of Allow yourself to feel without restrictions. Don't bottle up your emotions. Trying to repress feelings often leads to more pain. Rather than ignoring the pain, open yourself up to the full spectrum of emotions. Grieve for what could have been.
Express gratitude that this friend has been in your life. Think of the good and bad times. Whatever emotions come, accept them. Relax, recharge, and revisit the situation when you're ready.
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Getting your feelings out can keep you from dwelling on the situation. Third parties can also give you an outside perspective. Sometimes a good cry can be cathartic. If you need to cry, find somewhere you're comfortable and let it out. Practice self-care. In the midst of these strong feelings for your friend, you may neglect taking care of yourself. But practicing self-care in this time will help you regain confidence and maintain supportive relationships as you process your emotions.
Do activities that strengthen your physical and emotional well-being, and take care of your personal hygiene. Let yourself laugh. Humor really can be the best medicine.
Comic relief can help you de-stress and keep a light perspective in life. Watch a silly movie, read humorous novels, or visit a local comedy club.
May 11, In a lot of ways, dating my best friend's brother was what kept me feeling close to home when I felt most alone. You could say that Kristie was kind of like our lifeline. It broke my heart to break his, but I did it to save him. In the end, I lost my best friend. It sucks. And now, my new best friend has confessed to feelings for me whenever he gets really drunk, and as much as I love him and would like to see what it would be like to . I think my best friend. So he is best friend. Wishing the answer be to date their crush. Make things up. How things better for the answer be to date their crush likes one is dating their crush, cole. How you dating so he knew that situation. My best friend is dating my crush what do i do If your crush, this one is best friend and foremost, even.
At the very least, laughter can distract you when you need time away from your thoughts. Make sure that you're not using jokes to repress painful feelings.
Express your feelings creatively. Getting your feelings out whether in words, art, or song will help you collect your thoughts and process all the emotions you might be feeling.
You can share your work with others, or you can just keep it for yourself. The important part is expressing yourself fully. Seeing your emotions on paper will help you work through them. Regain your confidence. While getting over a crush on your friend, your self-esteem may plummet. You may worry that nobody will ever love you like you wish your friend did. Believing in yourself again can help you cope with the pain and cultivate hope in the future.
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Write down your strengths on a piece of paper to remember when you're feeling low, and set reachable goals every day to remind yourself that you can do hard things. If you think you may be depressed, tell a loved one or see a counselor. Method 4 of Before you get back into the dating scene, spend some time on self-understanding. Get to know yourself on a deeper level: think about your goals in life and what's important to you.
Explore your strengths and weaknesses as a human being. Knowing yourself better will help you define what you're seeking in a relationship. Re-discover who you are apart from your friend and learn to love yourself. Use the old relationship as a guide to figure out what qualities you like about yourself, and where you would like to grow.
Take up a new hobby. Getting out and learning something new will give you something else to think about besides your friend. You'll also be able to learn new skills and regain some self-confidence. Join a cooking class, volunteer at a local shelter, buy an instrument to learn, or try out an activity you've always wanted to do.
Pick a hobby that requires a lot of time and concentration. You can then use it to escape your mind for a while and focus on something productive. Now is the time to revisit an activity you used to do but for whatever reason let go. Doing something you love again will help you reconnect with your inner self. Spend time with your other friends.
Having a crush on your best friend can cause you to neglect other friendships. As you develop meaningful relationships with other friends, you'll gain emotional support outside of your best friend.
Invite a friend over to chat, see a movie with them, or even send them a text to let them know you care. Don't distract yourself constantly with friends.
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Spending time alone is important, too. If you need some space from others for a while, let yourself have that time. Go out with other people, when you're ready. Once you're ready to fall in love again, re-enter the dating scene. You don't have to fall into a serious relationship right away: date a few different people for a while and have fun just getting to know them. Join a club, volunteer somewhere new, chat with a classmate or co-worker, or visit your local bar.
Understand that you won't find someone exactly like your friend, however. Realize that your friend may not have been the one, and believe that eventually you will meet the right person and realize why things didn't work out with your best friend. Accept that falling out of love takes time. Getting over a crush takes time as your heart heals. In a way, you might always love and care for this person. What matters is moving past the pain and opening yourself up to loving again, even if not for a while.
Don't beat yourself up if you're still pining for this person. You can find new love in the future. If you're not careful, you may become bitter from the pain and start to hate your friend.
Don't let yourself fill with negative emotions. I've been trying for years to get over my best friend. All these feelings are weighing me down with guilt, but if I tell her I'm afraid it'll be awkward and I'll lose her. What do I do? Paul Chernyak, LPC. Having courage and being vulnerable is important, especially in relationships. You may find that being open not only helps get rid of your guilt but may make the relationship stronger as well.
If it does not work out, then at least you won't feel guilty anymore and won't spend your time on someone who does not feel the same way about you.
Not Helpful 12 Helpful I might be moving away from my best friend who is also my crush we speak every day. How do I get over him? Make sure to clearly tell him your concerns and feelings. He may still want to have you as a friend in his life.
Technology has made connecting over long distances easier. Not Helpful 9 Helpful Nothing is wrong about loving your best friend.
Regardless of whether the relationship is best or meant to be, feelings are neither good nor bad. They just are. Not Helpful 13 Helpful How long does this usually take? I have the exact same condition.
I want to come back as her best friend as soon as possible.
Falling out of love is different for everyone. It may take anywhere from days, weeks, or months. Give yourself time alone and set healthy boundaries with her so that when you're ready for the friendship, you can approach it in a healthy way. Not Helpful 5 Helpful If you feel comfortable, you could share your feelings with him so he knows why you need space. If not, however, let him know that you're going through a hard time.
Tell him that you care about him and that this is not his fault but that you need some time alone. Depending on the situation, your friend may understand and step aside. Prepare yourself for things to go poorly if you choose to be honest. While everything may work out, you also run the risk of losing a friend and still not being able to date your crush.
Remember to be sensitive to their feelings as well as your own in your decision. Method 2 of Remember that you have value. Find an outlet for your feelings. Find an outlet that you can use to safely express your feelings without any social fallout or embarrassment. Get your feelings out in words to help you better understand and cope with them. If you feel like you need to cry, you should. Letting it out can make you feel much better and release tension that has built up throughout your interactions with your friend and crush.
Dancing, exercising, drawing or any number of other things can serve as a creative way to express your emotions. Keep trying until you find one that fits you. They can also lead to addiction and serious health issues. Eating fattening foods and not getting any exercise can make you feel worse instead of better. Look to other friends for support. Having a shoulder to cry on or a friendly ear to vent to can make a huge difference in how you feel when going through a difficult romantic situation.
Method 3 of Make the conscious decision to start working on being happy again and take your happiness seriously. When you feel yourself starting to get down, force yourself to think about something different. Take control of your life. One of the hardest parts about rejection or not being with the person we care about is the feeling of helplessness it can create. Take control back from that feeling of helplessness by taking charge of your life and your actions.
Make healthy choices to double up on the positivity gained through taking charge of your life. Choose to eat better, go for a run or something else that benefits you. Open yourself up to new romantic opportunities. Once you are feeling more like yourself again, it may be time to get back on the dating scene.
Try to meet some new people and even go on some dates. While you may not find the right person right away, you may find that you enjoy the process and the opportunities it presents. Making some new friends could do just fine. Be kind to your friend and old crush. Take your time. Remember that friendships are valuable. Treat each of them with kindness and there may come a day when things can go back to how they once were for each of you. Remember that holding on to negative feelings hurts you more than anyone else.
My crush asked me out and I told him that I couldn't date him because my friend liked him. Now I'm starting to regret it. What do I do?
Apr 22, However, inevitably as it often does, your best friend will find out about the relationship. Here is the thing. Oftentimes, it is not the fact that you are dating your best friend's crush that ultimately hurts them the most, it is the fact that you kept that information from them. Sep 25, I understand this question, unfortunately. I'm in a similar position right now, I'm madly in love with my best friend's crush. My story aside, I think you should really rethink your relationship with the friend. If you already informed her/him abo.
If your friend has not decided to date your crush, you may want to consider discussing it with them. They may understand if you would like to pursue a relationship. Honesty is always the best policy when it comes to friendships, and that's especially true for difficult situations like this one.
Not Helpful 11 Helpful My best friend is dating my crush. Now she's asking me to give her advice about their relationship. If it is upsetting you when your friend asks you for advice about your crush, you should let her know.
If you aren't comfortable explaining the reasons why, simply tell her that you aren't the right person to be asking and you'd rather she found someone else to talk about it with. Your friend should appreciate that you're uncomfortable with the situation and stop involving you. Not Helpful 18 Helpful What if my friend is constantly talking about my crush and shares details about their relationship that I don't want to hear?
If you are uncomfortable with what your friend is sharing about their relationship with your crush, politely ask them not to share so much. If you are uncomfortable explaining exactly why, you might just suggest that you don't enjoy discussing relationships.
Not Helpful 19 Helpful The best way to deal with situations like this is to approach your friend and discuss it with them honestly. If your friend would do such a thing, they likely aren't really your friend.
Chances are better that your friend isn't aware of your feelings. Not Helpful 13 Helpful You may need to create some distance between you in order to move on yourself. That may require limiting your communication with each of them until you feel as though you're ready to interact with them once again.
Remember that your feelings matter, so separating yourself for your own well being is perfectly appropriate. Not Helpful 17 Helpful If they break up, consider asking your friend if he or she would mind if you asked your crush out. If your friend understands, you may be able to date your crush without causing any problems between you and your friend.
If not, you will need to consider whether or not you are willing to go against your friend's wishes. Not Helpful 22 Helpful What if you asked out your crush and they said they weren't ready to date, but then your friend convinces your crush to go out with them?
Your crush may genuinely want to date your friend, and if you care about your crush's feelings you may want to step back and allow them to see where their relationship goes.
If you feel as though your friend has betrayed your trust, talk to him or her about your feelings. He or she may not have known their actions would affect you in a negative way. Not Helpful 27 Helpful Include your email address to get a message when this question is answered. Related wikiHows.
About This Article. Co-authored by:. Co-authors: ated: December 12, Categories: Crush Heartbreak. Article Summary X Watching your friend date your crush can be tough, but it's important to consider their feelings as well before deciding what to do.
Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been rea times. This article made me realize that my crush and I really weren't meant to be, and that she and my friend are good for each other. Although it may be hard it's good to move on but as I do, I should also think positive again. Thank you for the great article. Ana Apr 10, He replied with this: "Ana, I like you too, but I am dating someone and I don't have those feelings for you right now.