There are some myths out there that people assume to be gospel about dating, especially among Christians. Christian culture is like any other in that we develop truisms that we accept without verifying. There are " Christian dating " ideas floating around that have little or nothing to do with the Bible. Most are well intended and contain a nugget of truth. Some are flat-out wrong. Dating is hard enough without sifting through all this erroneous information, so let's debunk some myths around Christian dating.
Don't team up with those who are unbelievers.
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How can righteousness be a partner with wickedness? How can light live with darkness?
If you fall in love, what will you do? Are you spending time with God? Do you depend on Him to meet your needs of love and security? You can resist temptation if you put on the whole armor of God Eph. In fact, usually the opposite is true.
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It feels incredibly good to give in to passion. But, the authority of Christ needs to take precedence over your physical drives. Society tells you to give in to the moment. Christ tells you to be obedient to His word.
These Christian dating misconceptions might sound funny, but they can have devastating effects on someone's love life, keeping them isolated, lonely, and misinformed. The truth is that the Bible Author: Wesley Baines.
Physical touch should be in the context of a meaningful relationship, not reduced to satisfaction of personal need. Rely on God's love, wisdom, and sustaining presence while you're dating.
Though God won't do all the work for you, he'll be with you every step of the way. The good news is that most men don't have a problem with this. Regardless of your theology on the Predestination of Girlfriends, you're probably eager to be an active participant in your dating life. This brings us to our next myth. People didn't date in biblical times, there is no such thing as "Biblical Dating". Dating as a socially accepted means of finding a mate has been around for less than a century.
Before that, strict courtship rituals governed the path to marriage. Whom you married wasn't even up to you most of the time.
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Falling in love before you got married or engaged is a twentieth-century concept. Dating as we know it occurred after marriage. In college, I had an older professor from Japan whose marriage had been arranged. He made fun of modern dating, saying, "By the time you get married now, the fun is over.
In an arranged marriage, the fun starts after the wedding! For the Hebrews and the early church, dating wasn't an issue to be addressed in Scripture. Sex and marriage were, but not dating.
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When the Bible was written, a person basically had one of three options: remaining single, an immoral life with multiple partners or prostitutes, or an arranged marriage. There were courtship rituals in place, but nothing that looks like what we consider dating today. The church has reached a difficult crossroads when it comes to pre-marriage romance.
We no longer have rituals of courtship and arranged marriage to guide us every step of the way. This leaves a lot of room for error. It's also spawned a whole range of opinions and advice on how to handle dating. One glance at the numerous books about love, dating, and marriage suggests that we're making a lot of this up as we go along.
Of course, there are biblical principles that are essential to dating. If you follow the biblical prescriptions for gentleness, respect, sexual purity, and kindness Gal.
Your head and your heart should be in Scripture at all times, but you won't find specific guidelines for dating. Is it okay to kiss before marriage? The answer isn't in the Bible though the Song of Solomon sure gives us a clue. How about going out on dates alone? Nope, not in there either. The Bible provides some crucial relational principles but doesn't address the specifics.
This requires more decision-making on your part.
You can't follow antiquated courtship rituals anymore. At least I don't advise it.
5 Dating Tips - Pastor Steven Furtick
Asking a woman's father if you can date his daughter without consulting her first might be a good way to never get a first date. You also don't have a scriptural field manual that tells you how to behave in every situation.
It's up to you to be in prayer and conversation with your Christian community about these things.
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You're going to have to think, talk, pray, and be ready to make some mistakes. Speaking of mistakes, let's look at our next myth. If this is true, I screwed up somewhere. I thought my wife was out of my league when I met her.
We had a nice conversation, but I left thinking that she wouldn't go out with a guy like me.
Regardless, I didn't get a divine telegram saying, "She's the one! Start picking out china patterns! Waiting for God to whack you on the head and tell you whom to marry isn't faith; it's fear. Many people want nothing to do with dating because of the risk and potential pain that it involves. This is certainly understandable, as dating can have traumatic results in unhealthy circumstances. But what do you think serves us better in the long run?
Growing and suffering in the process of learning or a revelation that lets us off the hook?
I would have loved to know that the beautiful woman I was talking to would one day be my wife, but I might not have worked as hard to earn her hand in marriage. I would have missed a lot of experiences that made me a better man. Be careful if you think God has told you that Betty from the bookstore is the one for you, but you have no idea if she feels the same way. If you plunge in, convinced that you are on a mission from God, and she's not sure yet, it's a quick way to scare her off.
Our unconscious mind can kick up powerful feelings that sometimes get mistaken for a message from God. They also call for a deeper introspection into the desire to commit long-term.
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Many singles will eschew their beliefs in desperation to escape loneliness or the perceived and flawed assumption that dating mostly results in nothing. But dating without the intention to be married or conscious choice to pursue a partner who truly lives between the bounds of a godly covenant is giving over to the cultivation of the wrong desires - these are the desires to escape boredom or the fear of being alone.
So take it lightly and easily. Take the time to cultivate the right desires and pay due diligence - or use a service like EliteSingles that can do that for you! Either way, it continues to be admirable, worthy and godly to go about your single life with just as much devotion and involvement in discipleship as if you were with a potential partner.
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