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However, dating somebody with a disability is a topic that is often overlooked. I want to go over six small things I feel everyone should know about dating someone with a disability, whether your significant other is someone living with a disability, if you plan on dating someone with a disability, or you just want to open your mind to the culture behind disability. As an adult who is self-sufficient and willing to tell you when something will not work out, I can tell you a lot of us love to go on normal dates, just like anyone else! We would want you to tell us if you were unable to do something, or felt unsafe doing something. We want you to be just as comfortable being with us as we are with you!

Something a lot of people do not understand about dating someone with a disability is that we usually want you to ask questions about our disability.

Online dating gives us vetting opportunities for potential suitors, and not everyone may be interested in dating someone with a disability. To eliminate these mixed matches, be honest about your disability in your profile. It prevents any miscommunication snafus and shattered expectations. Mar 26,   Dating someone with a disability can bring you into contact with some not-so-average situations. So you have to be open-minded and flexible, and it helps to have a sense of humour. You don't have to know everything about having a disability. It simply means that you have to get to know the person's particular disability. A giant misconception about dating someone with a disability is that there will be no intimacy in your relationship, which is completely false in most cases. Unless you are falling out of love, have no emotional or physical attraction to the person, or you are again overthinking, there is no reason why your intimate life should be non-existent.

If you are choosing to date us, we want you to accept and love us just as we are - this includes wanting to learn about what our lives with disabilities are like, what our personal life is like aside from the disability, and wanting to advocate for our rights.

Of course many of us are going to talk about it, spread awareness about it, and answer any questions people may have publicly. Just like we accept your able body, we want you to accept ours with our disabilities and differences, whether we are having a good day or bad day - and ask what you could do to help the community as a whole.

We embrace open-mindedness.

Dating someone handicapped

This somewhat ties into the first point, but we do not want you to feel different dating us! We want to make our relationships as healthy as possible. This includes holding both parties accountable for our actions, allowing us to live normal lives, like going to work, cooking dinner, taking the dog for walks, etc.

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We do not expect you to treat us any differently than someone else when it comes to being held accountable in relationships, expecting the best from us, and always pushing for the best for the relationship. We want to give and learn just as much as anyone else in a normal relationship would.

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Just as you want help with things, we may ask too. If you do not know how to help with what we are asking, we can teach you along the way! Able-bodied people will sometimes overthink and freak out about things like this.

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We may need help with certain things, but we do not want you to think helping us is going to be constant for the rest of the relationship, or that we will hold you back. Unfortunately, I made an assumption that gave me a bit of rude awakening.

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As we all know, depending on where you live, public transportation in Trinidad and Tobago is usually a problem. If you, or your partner, have a vehicle, that issue is a bit less of a problem.

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Note, I said a bit less, because being a driver has its own level of frustrations. It was only when I began dating a blind guy that I truly began to realise how poorly constructed our streets, street signage and pavements are.

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It can make things very challenging for a blind, deaf or physically challenged pedestrian. Hell, it makes things difficult for those without a physical disability. Added to which, in many cases, if a person is visibly disabled, taxi and maxi drivers tend not to want to pick them up.

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So yesgoing out can be a challenge, at times. However, after you get accustomed to the adjustments needed to make this kind of relationship work, you really do get down to the business of being in a relationship.


There will the kisses, the I love yous, the I-really-cyar-take-you-on-right-now-nah moments, the fights, makeups, and, yes, the breakup. In hindsight, one of the things my ex and I agreed on is that the relationship did not start because of his disability, and it did not end because of it either.

I was in a relationship with another human being with strengths and weaknesses. And when you are dating a person with a disability that is the issue that ultimately matters.

Dating someone with a disability is, essentially, no different than dating a non-disabled person. There will be good days and there will be bad days. Keep these five things in mind as you continue to love and support your partner every day.

About Nicole G. She has a special place in her heart for disability and mental health issues. She also loves to write, and her taste in music ranges from gospel and soft rock to classical, roots and zydeco Google that.

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Domiciled in the 'safe' suburb of Morvant, she is seeking to further fund her addiction to Bijoux Terner and Wonderful World merchandise. Thanks for installing the Bottom of every post plugin by Corey Salzano.

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Contact me if you need custom WordPress plugins or website design. Many partners, regardless of how much love or sexual attraction they have for their significant other, find themselves saying insensitive and ableist things to their loved ones.

While you may never intend to say hurtful things to your partner, during an argument or stressful situation you may find that the words that come out of your mouth hurt your partner more than you realize.

This is where most ableist thinking comes from. Likewise, friends and family tend to insult the individual with a disability by accusing them of faking their illness, not being worthy of sexual attraction, taking advantage of their partner or being lazy, and not working hard enough to do better.

However, it is especially important to remember to practice self-care when dating someone with a disability.

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This can take the form of shopping for perfumes for women or having a spa day. In relationships where one partner is the caregiver, it is imperative for that person to set aside adequate time to practice self-care.

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While you may consider it selfish to take care of yourself, this is an important part of what keeps your relationship healthy. Your partner is who they are right now.

You need to learn to love and accept them at this moment. Instead of banking on how your partner will be different in the future or hoping for a better outcome, enjoy the person they are now.

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