Learning you have genital herpes can be devastating. When someone is first diagnosed, the thought of dating with herpes can fill them with horrible anxiety. They may wonder if they will ever find love again. Why is dating with herpes so stressful? After herpes diagnosis, people may worry about being judged.
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Living more helpful hints i have genital herpes. You may also have implied that your herpes diagnosis is more important than the other things they find attractive about you. If someone is really interested in you before you tell them you have herpes, they probably will be afterward as well.
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It just helps to tell them early. How early?
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You don't have to do it on the first date. The timing really depends on the people involved. If you're worried about how your partner might react, talk to them about it in a safe place.
3 Reasons Why Dating with Herpes Is Safe
You could bring it up over dinner when you're getting near the going home together phase. Or you could have the talk while you're out for a walk, and perhaps a make-out session.
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When you do have the talk, it's best to be straightforward about it. You have nothing to be ashamed of.
Before we do, I wanted to let you know that I have genital herpes. I take suppressive therapy and haven't had an outbreak in a while, so the risk of passing it to you is low. You don't need to respond right now. When, and if, you're ready, I'm happy to talk with you more or to just send you some information.
One of the things that scares people when they're thinking about dating with herpes is the risk for potential partners. They're concerned about the possibility that they might spread herpes to someone they care about. This is a legitimate concern. Fortunately, there are ways to reduce the likelihood you will spread herpes during sex. Suppressive therapy, for example, can lower the risk of transmission significantly.
Using condoms consistently, even for oral sexcan also make a big difference in your partner's risk.
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Condoms and dental dams don't just make intercourse safer. They also make it less likely for you to spread herpes from your genitals to their mouthand vice versa. Practicing safe sex is always a good choice.
What do you do if it's not you with herpes but your partner? Hearing the news may throw you for a bit of a loop.
If you're worried or upset, that's understandable. However, try not to take it out on the person who told you.
Being open and honest about a herpes diagnosis isn't an easy thing to do. It's quite possible you've already dated people who had the virus. You may already have it yourself.
The majority of people with herpes have no idea they are infected. It's your choice whether you want to keep dating someone after learning of their herpes diagnosis. Dating someone who knows they're infected, at least gives you the option of intentionally managing your risk. The truth is, some people will reject you when they find out you have herpes. To quote a herpes support forum poster, "dating with herpes can be stressful. Numerous people with genital and oral herpes are open about disclosing their condition.
Most of them have active, happy dating and sexual lives.
The truth is, it's so hard to meet the right person that dating with herpes makes it only the tiniest bit harder. Life after herpes doesn't mean life without love.
Sign up for our Health Tip of the Day newsletter, and receive daily tips that will help you live your healthiest life. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Genital herpes. ated August 28, Herpes Is Common People often worry that friends and future partners will judge them if they find out they have herpes.
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An Overview of Herpes. Living With Herpes. Be Upfront Well Before You Have Sex One of the hardest things about dating with herpes is deciding when to disclose your diagnosis to your partner. Example Disclosure of Diagnosis "I like how things are going in our relationship, and I'm hoping we'll end up in bed sometime soon.