Site ate 5 is up, and Fundraising Month continues! How to deal with Indian parents when dating a Caucasian girl? How do I deal with my parents who only believe in marrying someone who is also Indian? I've not told them about the girl I'm dating because I do not want to deal with bad talk when the relatives and family involved. So I've been dating this girl for about 2 months and we get along fairly well. I live with my parents who are born and raised in India so they value traditional culture. My parents don't know that I'm dating a girl who is different race.
However, my mum is less accepting about. His parents have never met me. I told my boyfriend I can learn language, I love Indian culture, I love the food, I can take care of his parents as Indian bahu, my mom as the only member of my family agreed to move with me to India, I said also about the job that I will find. We both are in love. He wants his parents to be happy but he also wants me to be happy. Many many emails and many many conversations about how we can connect our culture and how rich we will be with the cultural things.
I do not know how to convince their parents to not reject me because of my cultural background.
Indian parents do not give a (pardon my French) shit. Your welfare and social adjustment are more important to them than being your friend, or short term popularity or happiness. Indian parents will risk you hating them forever because they love you. Mar 17, thoughts on " How You Shouldn't Tell Your Indian Parents You Have a White Boyfriend (More than ) " A October 26, at pm. I loved the article! But I'm in a pretty tricky situation. My boyfriend is white and we have been together nearly 3 years and my parents don't know. Sep 02, Despite the odds, stay optimistic and follow this strategy to get your Indian parents to accept your boyfriend of girlfriend from a different culture. A point plan to talk to your parents and get them to accept your non-Indian boyfriend of girlfriend follows. 1. Break the news slowly and over several conversations to help your parents deal with it. This might be the most devastating news they .
Do you have any suggestions? Hi Lon!
Be supportive when it gets stressful for him, but be firm that you need this. Thank you for the suggestions.
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His parents already know about me. I was his secret for a long time and then very clearly I told him I cannot be his secret. But still his parents are not happy with it.
Press J to jump to the feed. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. May 06, *This post is in response to a few questions on the subject of why Indian parents will never accept non-Indian husbands for their daughters with a mighty strong dose of humor woven in. Enjoy. (p.s. sometimes they accept - see video above) For my book, How to Get Indian Parents to Accept Your Marriage Proposal, click here. Dear Non-Indian lover, suitor, knight in shining armor.
I want to meet them when I will go to India again. Do you might have any suggestions how to win their hearts? Lon, it took a year for mine to convince his parents. The first time he told them they cried and raged. They told him it was just a phase.
They told him to leave me.
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But we were way beyond that. They stopped talking to him for an entire year.
Then he approached them again, because I was getting really sad. I had to travel back and froth from the US to India because of my visa, and it was all so exhausting. When he did talk to them again, they reluctantly agreed.
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They planned our entire wedding and I let them. After spending a few weeks with them in their home, after marriage, they really learned that I was a good human being.
Their initial fears were typical. A white American girl screams immodesty, alcohol and divorce, in their eyes, thanks to media.
But they learned what kind of person I truly am. Very seriously, your boyfriend needs to tell them and be brave. He has it easier than the Indian girls do. No matter what his family says, they will forgive him.
Accepted as one of their own and even treats me with love and respect. I really love them. If my family was anything like his, I know we would all be happy. I completely understand how you feel.
I hope things get better for you! Really happy to hear of a positive story, I really hope and pray that I too will get a positive outcome. I love him with all my heart and he is my best friend. I came out and told my parents about him from day one as I did not want to keep any secrets from them.
I in fact told my mum first as she always said that she wanted our relationship to be one of friends as well as mother and daughter. After I told her she did go all quiet, I thought that that she would need some time for it to sink in, however two days later she told me that my news had given her sleepless nights and was giving her chest pains Indian parents are experts in emotional blackmailing, watching Bollywood movies just adds the dramatic effectsshe also told me that I had to tell my dad that evening otherwise she would tell him before I do oh they are great at threats too.
My dad gave me an ultimatum; it was either them or him. How do you choose?
I decided that I should take my dad out for dinner just the two of us and sit and talk; I was always closer to my dad back then. My dad clearly told me that he will never accept and that his culture and religion was far more important than my happiness. I reminded him that he was a witness at my cousins wedding a few years back, he had married a non-Indian, so why is that ok.?
Even that conversation ended badly.
Aug 05, Your parents will have to accept the fact that you are dating (ethnically Indian woman or not) at some point. Do it gently and with love though; I am guessing they are on the older side and if they are first generation Indians, they probably had to deal . In general, Indian parents don't allow their teenage boy/girl to make girlfriend or boyfriend because. They think their child can't handle love and study equally together. Parents are more concern about the career of their child. Parents always think them as kid. So, kids can't take their own decisions. They have been born before you. So, they have seen the world far better than you. Indian parents don't allow dating - Find a woman in my area! Free to join to find a woman and meet a woman online who is single and looking for you. If you are a middle-aged woman looking to have a good time dating woman half your age, this advertisement is for you. Want to meet eligible single man who share your zest for life? Indeed, for those who've tried and failed to find the right man.
Fast forward to 2. Please help. Just hang in there, girl! We all have gone through those phases. Trust me, it sometimes is baffling how parents turn around completely, given enough time.
I think, in my case, more than all the conversation with my dad, what helped most was that I was patient and really waited it out. After a while, they really want you to see you married and they definitely want you to be happy, so they come around.
Good luck and lots of love coming your way.
Thank you for the expressing your thoughts! I have been searching Google last hope for advice and tips on how to broach the subject to parents who live in India.
I have been dating my bf for an year now. He introduced me to his entire family including extended families during our initial courtship. His family accepts and respects our relationship. I feel like telling them about him may bring out the worst in them my mom, at times, can be unabashedly straightforward to strangers or family alike.
I tried to introduce him over video call. I was out on grocery shopping and when they called, we took a break from shopping and I decided to video chat with them. I introduced him to them by saying he was helping shop. After that I never dared to have him around for a talk with my parents again.
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I plan to tell them soon and I just hope that they forgive me and accept him as their own. Need all the luck in the world. My family said the same things yours did. The only remaining barrier is language. Good luck!! About a year and a half into our relationship, after being overcome with guilt about hiding the relationship, I told my parents about it and they freaked out. Not only did they threaten to disown me and claimed that my grandparents would die of heart attacks, my mom stopped taking her blood pressure medication in order to get me to fall in line.
In an effort to get my mom to take her meds, I told my family that I need things with my boyfriend, and actually broke up with him. However, realizing how important he is to me and how strongly I feel for him, we got back together shortly thereafter, and I reverted to keeping the relationship a secret. Then, after close to two years of long distance which was so hard, but we made it work and, in my opinion, are stronger than evermy boyfriend moved back to the city where I still lived because he wanted us to make a decision about our future and whether we were going to take the next step.
After years of seeing a therapist, a few months ago, I emailed my family about my boyfriend and told them that, while I understand and wanted to be mindful of their desire for me to marry a guy that fits their list of qualifications, this is who I choose to have a future with and I would love and appreciate if they would give him a chance by meeting him and getting to know him. They refused and stopped talking to me. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
It was awful when my dad did that. Every night at dinner, I would try to work up the courage to bring up the topic again.
What To Do When Your Family Doesn't Approve Of Your Relationship
I would spend the hours leading up to it practising my opening line and once I finally got it out, I used to feel deflated and drained of all energy. When my parents visited me and I wanted them to meet my boyfriend, I knew it would ruin the atmosphere if I told them about it ahead of time.
So, I told them just a day before that he was going to meet them the next morning and we were going to a temple together. My dad resisted and refused to talk to me, but at least, there was less time to be unpleasant. He wanted to go to the temple anyway, so he grudgingly agreed to let my boyfriend drive us there. So, have nice dinner and do the sight-seeing - sneak in an outing with your fiance in between all that and tell them to just get to know him.
With time, I hope they come around and you can celebrate your wedding day with them smiling too! Pingback: IntroducingThe Nerd Lady! This is so so true and well written. Thank you for putting down your thoughts and writing them. This helps a lot, now and to everyone else in the future.
I am Indian women who married a white guy after moving to united states. I told my parents about him after one year of dating. We love each other and he accepts in every way and so do I. I tried convincing a lot but they will guilt me saying they sent me for education and not for a boyfriend. They said that people stop respecting them if they got to know that their daughter wants to marry a white guy. I am from south india telangana and i moved to usa in Fell in love with my husband then boyfriend in and got married in I told them about him in and when they disapproved I married him anyway as He is the love of my life.
And i told them that i did but they refused to believe me.
I tried to make them talk to him before wedding but they refused. My husband is a sweetheart and he is very patient despite he wants to talk to them and convince them he has never forced me into rubbing in their faces.
So i am unable to say anything because my sister and my father are begging me to reconsider because they think i am not married and they think that I lied. I am not sure what to do. You are commenting using your WordPress.
You are commenting using your Google account. You are commenting using your Twitter account. You are commenting using your Facebook account. Notify me of new comments via email. Notify me of new posts via email. Guaranteed to work unless your children hate you for stressing them out so much, and they do want you to die. Indian culture is full of endless possibilities. Tikka masala is just the beginning though it sure as hell is a good place to start.
I'm North Indian, so my skin is pretty fair, and when people find out I'm Indian and the first follow up question is always, "Oh, is your mom a great cook? It doesn't necessarily mean they voted for Mitt Romney or that they are really religious although I guess both those things could be true also.
It means that immigrant families came to this country and kept to themselves because of how they were treated. So they can be skeptical meeting new people. And a little bit demanding about who their kid is spending time with. Arranged marriages are still very much a thing, but they've modernized.
They typically last for days, there's mehndi henna and should you be fortunate enough to get invited as a plus one, try to make it through the ceremony without asking too many questions about dowries. But you'll probably be asked to try, and then you'll get a lecture about how you're using a "w" sound when you need to use a "v.
Not a bad thing, mostly it's just hilarious that it's a thing so many people do.
Indian parents dont allow dating
Chances are, the girl you're having out with will be down to go for Indian food, but she'll know a better place than you. As do many people. She comes from a culture that, while beautiful, can be strict and occasionally overly traditional.
She might get a lot of pressure from her family to move in a specific direction. Again, she might not, but know that it's a possibility. India is huge. Foods have different names in different places.