In a world where conversations about equality and gender relationships are becoming increasingly relevant, it is important to scrutinize more interpersonal relationships, like that of lovers or couples. Whether you believe it or not, power dynamics in relationships is an actual thing, which can determine how you behave with your partner, and how likely you are to end up with each other. It is extremely rare to find a couple where both partners interact with each other on the same level. This does not always mean that one is consistently dominant and the other is consistently deferential. Most people tend to restrict the notion of power to decision-making and other banal, surface things, but in fact, the word has a more significant role to play, when it comes to analyzing relationships. If you think of yourself as a feminist, then you might feel that power dynamics are at an absolute equilibrium between you and your partner.
Focusing on power dynamics onlyis toxic. And dangerous. The study of power dynamics in workplace environments, including the strategies to gain unofficial status and win official promotions.
Workplaces the whole world over are a hotbed of politics and hidden Machiavellian power moves. Why hidden and Machiavellian? Because workplaces tend to be somewhat schizophrenic.
But deep down, most people know that there are plenty of diverging and conflicting interests all over the workplace them VS their bosses, them VS their teams, and, most of all them VS their employers. Workplaces are also hotbeds of hidden power strategies because they are unnatural.
THE DYNAMICS OF A SUCCESSFUL DATE
Think of it this way:. And since politics are embedded in the very structure of the workplace, the sooner you can accept you also must get good at politics, the sooner you can start thriving in it. On the other hand, power dynamics are embedded in the very fabric of most of the recognized social sciences.
Think of political science studying the different types of regimes, for example. In spite of the neutrality of science and the obvious truth that power strategies can be used for good, the discipline still has a negative connotation attached to it.
Obviously, very driven people, as well as power-hungry people, will be more interested in strategies to win, succeed, and get what they want from others.
You can, and do, influence the power dynamics in your relationship! Every interaction you have, whether it is with a family member, your partner, the person at the checkout, or a colleague at work, involves an exchange of power. Every thought you have about that person involves power; it either empowers or disempowers you. Jun 23, Dating Power Dynamics - the ebook; 4. Power Dynamics in Relationships. The study of how power and influence is negotiated within long-term relationships. I need to say this right away: One of clearest signs of a toxic and potentially abusive relationship is a partner that within an intimate focuses mostly or solely on power.
But the other side of the coin is equally true: power dynamics can also be deployed for personal self-defense. And strategies for power and personal success can be deployed within an ethical framework that ultimately adds value to the people around and to society as a whole -which is what this website recommends.
To draw a parallel with physical effectiveness, power dynamics are a bit like martial arts and weight training.
Power dynamics are social martial arts. Albeit there are always exceptions, martial artists are usually not the kind of people who start fights.
And they are more likely to offer help and support when needed. This seemingly infantile behavior is actually just as much of a power holding strategy as money, high-power job, or seniority.
Now these few examples are not to say you are dealing with a real power-person and that your relationship is doomed.
Jan 31, The balance of power in relationships is an ever-changing status that deserves to be carefully monitored and cared for. Negative balances of Author: Jaimee Bell. All relationships entail some degree of power dynamics. If you're in a marriage where things are relatively equal (either you agree on almost every decision or you have consciously agreed that you will each have your departments of decision-making power) then you're not feeling a constant push and pull. But if couples can work together to shine a light on their power dynamics, they can start to build a collaborative approach of eliminating problem behaviors and redefining their relationship. When two people collaborate in this fashion, it rebuilds the bonds of intimacy. Covert power builds resentment, which is basically covert anger.
If you are able to bring up this imbalance to their attention and they genuinely take it to heart by collaborating with you to find a way to make the marriage more equal, then you have a true opportunity to shift the dynamics positively. This is where couples counseling can help you find a way to a partnership of equals. WARNING: However, if your partner always invalidates your needs, makes you feel invisible, humiliates you, or does the old bait-and-switch promising you to change but never actually does anything to changethen I'm afraid you're dealing with a real power-person.
There's no balance to be had when you're entrenched with a power-person. You're dealing with someone who views all interactions as a win or lose, and they will make sure that they always win! If that's the case, it's time to re-evaluate your relationship. Individual Therapy.
May 3 Written By Ebru Halper. So what might it mean if you feel uncomfortable doing that?
All couples argue from time to time, but healthy couples fight fair - and it's a serious red flag if your partner always has to be 'right' or 'win' an argument. One of the responsibilities of being in a relationship is taking your partner's feelings into account, not just your own - and if your partner makes decisions without getting your inputthat's unhealthy. A relationship can't survive if there isn't a foundation of mutual respectand if your partner doesn't seem to have the same respect for you that you have for themthat's likely to become a serious problem.
When you're in a healthy relationship, even when times are tough, you should always feel connected to your partner - so if you feel alone in your relationship, that doesn't bode well. It should go without saying, but physical violence or threats of physical violence are never acceptable in a relationship, and if you're being physically intimated or abused by your partner, you should make a plan to safely exit the relationship immediately.
Editor's note: If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic abuse, call or the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1 SAFE or visit thehotline. In a relationship with a healthy power dynamicboth partners strive to meet each other's needs, and it should go without saying that it's unfair if your partner expects you to cater to them without returning the favor back to you.